


Horror Movies May Be The Greatest Life Analogy Ever

by Illusinia



Category: Captain America (Movies), Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 21:36:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3426401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illusinia/pseuds/Illusinia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve walks in the find a few of his teammates watching a horror film. Peter drags Gamora along for the ride and Maria shows up just in time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Horror Movies May Be The Greatest Life Analogy Ever

**Author's Note:**

> For my lovely friends Ali and Ash. Happy birthday Ali. Enjoy.

This couldn't be good.   
  
It was the first thought that crossed Steve's mind as he stepped into the living area of the tower. There was stuff everywhere. Popcorn littered the ground and what looked like candy was scattered about as if it had been thrown straight up in the air.  
  
On the couch, Clint Barton and Grant Ward were sitting on either side of the two dark-haired Rising Tide hackers that had taken up residence in the tower not long ago along with Jane and the rest of _Director_ Coulson's team. Both Darcy and Skye were leaning forward on the couch, eyes glued to the screen as if hypnotized. By contrast, both Clint and Grant appeared to be asleep. Whatever was going on here, Steve was pretty sure he didn't want to be involved.  
  
This thought was reaffirmed a second later when both Darcy and Skye screamed in tandem with a woman on the screen. Both threw the bowls they'd been holding in the air, half jumping on the men to either side of them. Well, that explained the popcorn and candy on the ground.  
  
Clint barely moved as Darcy jumped on him while Grant groaned and pinned Skye pretty firmly to his side. How neither man had woken up, Steve wasn't sure. He was pretty sure he'd sustained permanent hearing damage from the screaming alone. Then he spotted Clint's hearing aids on the table beside a package of ear plugs. The lack of movement from either man suddenly made a lot more sense.  
  
"Oh sweet! Is that Psycho?!"

  
Steve nearly jumped at the sudden shout from behind him that came seconds before Peter Quill came bolting by him. How Tony had met the man and why he'd invited the crew to stay at the tower, Steve wasn't sure. He suspected it had to do with the fact Tony had practically swept the talking raccoon named Rocket down to his lab immediately upon their landing.  
  
"American Psycho," corrected Darcy, who'd removed herself from Clint and collected her bowl from the ground. She glanced at its contents once before shrugging and eating a handful of what looked like candy covered popcorn. “It's more recent and has Christian Bale in it.”

 

“Who?” asked Peter as he half ran passed Steve, pulling Gamora with him. Gamora, for her part, made a startled noise but let herself be pulled around by the man in question.

 

Peter released Gamora and jumped over the back of the couch as he reached it, landing between the Darcy and Skye with ease. Gamora, by contrast, took the time to actually walk around the piece of furniture, though she paused when she realized there was almost no room left. Peter solved that by reaching out and tugging her onto his lap. She fell with a surprising grace, implying Peter probably did that more often than not.

 

At her raised eyebrow, he shrugged and offered her a grin. “It's a scary movie. Those are the best cuddling movies.”  
  


The woman on the TV screamed again, drawing everyone's focus back on the big screen save that of the two sleeping men. Gamora looked back at Peter after a moment with a slightly irritated look. “Why is that woman screaming? Why doesn't she just grab a knife and stab the man? Or break his arm with her hands?”

 

“Because it's a horror movie and no one in those ever does anything smart or has any real skills besides screaming and stupidity,” replied Skye as she basically crawled into Grant's lap. The man made a bit of a noise and finally opened his eyes, blinking up at his girlfriend before glancing at the screen.

 

“Is is over?” he half-shouted, looking up at Skye hopefully.

 

She just shook her head and popped his earplugs out. “Not yet. I think we're gonna restart it though. Peter and Gamora just got here.”

 

Grant made a face but nodded all the same, curling his arms around Skye and settling back into the couch. He didn't look like he was going back to sleep this time though; well, at least not immediately.

 

“How many times have you seen this?” questioned Gamora as she shifted a bit in Peter's lap. Her marked discomfort made it clear that she wasn't accustomed to the close contact that she was currently suffering through. Or, rather, she probably wasn't used to the public nature of the close contact. Steve couldn't imagine that Peter was a particularly hands-off boyfriend.

 

“Just relax, 'Mora,” assured Peter with a grin. “Laugh at the stupid human women who are running away from their problems instead of stabbing them.”

 

“You know, that's a pretty good analogy,” remarked Darcy, grabbing up the remote and restarting the movie before she squeezed herself back into Clint's lap. “Running away never helps.”

 

“Never noticed that,” admitted Skye, tilting her head a bit in consideration before leaning forward to look at her friend. “Think it's intentional?”

 

Darcy just shook her head. “If it is, horror directors are a hell of a lot smarter than we give them credit for.”

 

“Excuse me, but Hitchcock was a genius,” declared Peter from between them. “He makes everyone else look amateurish.”

 

“Who or what is Hitchcock?” asked Gamora, though her tone suggested that she suspected she'd regret asking.

 

Peter gave her a restrained look and leaned up to kiss her quickly, causing her to crinkle her nose a little. “We'll discuss him later. One cultural introduction at a time.”

 

Nodding slowly, she turned back to the TV and made a face. “Am I going to regret watching this?”

 

“Like I said,” insisted Peter as his arms settled around her waist. “Just sit back and laugh at the screaming woman who's an analogy for running from your problems.”

 

Gamora still didn't look satisfied by this answer, but she settled into Peter's lap all the same and fell silent as was her custom.

 

“Hey, Cap, you gonna join us?”

 

Steve blinked, glancing over at Clint, who had apparently woken up at some point during the conversation. The archer was looking at him over the back of the couch, his head tilted back at an angel that didn't look comfortable. Clint had a weird way of always knowing where everyone was, even without his hearing aids in. Steve also knew for a fact the man could read lips and thus would be able to understand anything Steve said without an issue.

 

Darcy glanced back at Steve as well when she noticed Clint's odd position, but didn't extend an offer for him to join them. Instead, she just stared at him much the same way Clint was. Honestly, the similarities between the two were creepy sometimes. He wasn't sure they meant to parrot each other, but they somehow managed to.

 

“Um...” He balked a little, trying to figure out if there was a good excuse that would have him leaving the group or not. He really didn't want to watch this movie, whatever it was. The women's screams pierced his ears. But at the same time, he knew they were being nice by inviting him and if he didn't have a reason, he really should say yes. “I-”

 

“He's needed in my office,” stated a voice from behind, female and firm.

 

He practically felt his shoulders slump in relief as Maria's strong tone rushed over him. Oh thank god. How she'd known he needed help, he wasn't sure, but he was grateful all the same.

 

Turning, keeping his face carefully neutral, Steve nodded at Maria in an attentive manner. “What's the problem, Director Hill?”

 

“There's a discrepancy in your paperwork from your last mission,” replied Maria simply, her face neutral even as her eyes flashed knowingly at him. “We just need to clear it up.”

 

“Of course,” agreed Steve, nodding as if it were the most reasonable thing ever. Gesturing towards the elevators, he motioned for Maria to go in front of him. “Lead the way.”

 

Quietly, he followed Maria to the elevators and tried to ignore the nagging sense of someone staring a hole in his back. His phone buzzed in his pocket almost as soon as they reached the elevators. Pulling it out, Steve almost wanted to laugh at the message splayed across the screen.

 

'You can thank us later. Have fun.' Clint's name was listed along the top, making it clear who had sent the message. He'd definitely have to thank Clint and possibly either Darcy or Grant later. They were the only two who were likely to have contacted Maria about this.

 

Tucking his phone back into his pocket, Steve followed Maria into the elevator as it dinged. The doors had barely closed behind them before Maria was speaking. “Jarvis, disengage surveillance for this specific elevator car until we exit.”

 

“Of course, Director Hill,” confirmed Jarvis before there was a little click that said the sound recorders and video cameras had been shut off.

 

Almost immediately, Maria's hand rose to rest on Steve's shoulder, her look vying between amused and concerned. “You alright?”

 

“Yeah,” assured Steve, offering her a grin. “You saved me just in time.”

 

Maria laughed at that, soft and reassuringly familiar. “You can say no, you know.”

 

“Yeah,” confirmed Steve, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. “It felt rude though...”

 

“It's not rude to decline an invitation to watch a crappy horror film,” assured Maria. Her hand on his shoulder tightened a bit just before she leaned up and kissed his chin. “It gave me an excuse to kidnap you though, so I won't complain.”

 

“You need an excuse now?” teased Steve, a touch of a smirk tilting up his lips.

 

Maria just hummed suspiciously and changed the subject. “I was thinking about hitting the gym. Care to join me?”

 

Steve paused for a moment, considering that. Truthfully, he'd been hoping they could spend some time alone together doing something other than sparring. “Maybe we could go back to my room instead. I managed to find that record I mentioned and, well, I was hoping to take you dancing this weekend but I need to practice...”

 

The smile that bloomed over Maria's face was much softer than he was used to seeing. It might have been disquieting, if he didn't find her so beautiful. “I suppose I can help you learn to dance.” In front of them, the elevator doors dinged and opened onto the apartments where the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents largely lived. “Give me five minutes to change and I'll meet you in your room.”

 

“Alright,” agreed Steve, holding the door as Maria stepped out before following her into the hall. “I'll set up.”

 

Waving slightly at him over her shoulder, Maria headed down the hall, hips swaying slightly more than normal. Steve knew it was for his benefit. Anyone who said Maria didn't know how to act like a woman had never dated her.

 

Gulping slightly and knowing he was probably going to find himself in over his head, Steve turned the opposite way and headed towards his room. He needed to make sure that there was nothing out in his room he needed to worry about and clear some space for them to practice. Assuming they got any practicing done. With Maria, it was sometimes hard to tell.

 


End file.
